first off, with great embarassment, thanks to justin's spotting sigh. yes, i still WEAR the tomato shirt. where i do that? haha now you'll have to watch out for that. but thanks lots justin. sigh, if mingxuan had read that, he'd have been proud of me haha.

second, with even greater embarassment, i'm still unemployed sigh. i went over the classifieds section in the straits times (that's a first, and never thought i'll get there haha) and the first adverd i called, something about being a receptionist at a clinic... the first thing the lady asked was "okay ruth, are you a student?" "erm yeah, i'm waiting for my a level results" "oh sorry, because we're not taking in students..." oh well, but at least there's something come up already, though i'm really not sure but really hopeful. so just pray that it goes through yups? or else you'll start seeing me at the daiso at vivo haha.

so, what've i been doing these few past days? well, i've been spending a lot of time with the church people, in church, doing stuff for s4g and the likes... and i'm loving it (bada-papapa). haha the last few times i wanted to go on service in church, i never found the real lasting commitment. what i mean is that, everytime i just grew so tired of service, then i felt i needed a break, and a level study was always the excuse. then when i stop, yeah sure, i had more time for studying, less worries, but i missed worrying about the next sunday when i needed to play for worship, that i'll mess up or zone out right on stage due to lack of sleep (which i embarassingly did today for the barest minimum of 2 minutes sigh). i missed worrying about the next sunday when i needed to hype the kids in kindie with singing, yet not being too overfriendly that i lost control of them.

so good, or bad? i mean, i admire people like alice who can handle youth s4g and kindie at the same time. i mean, my kindie kids may end up hearing things that are too over their heads, and i may start talking to my youths in kindie talk. that was my greatest fear, that my full concentration won't be on one ministry, and thus hamper it. so i chose. put away the first love and leave it to others, and take up a new challenge.

oh well, i lost my train of thought. it's happening more and more often these few days. but main point is, i'm enjoying my time as s4g leader haha. it's been something i've been wanting to do for some time anyway.

alright, it's late, and so far, i've been nothing far from just plain simple embarassing. sigh.

commitment is what i need now. lots of it. and to what? to God, to life, to my service to Him, to keeping to what i know as my true self.

it's obvious that it's past midnight, the time when everything utterly / mostly truthful appears, and my sensors / censors are down again haha

to end off, here's a great hymn. can you imagine, he was battling tuberculosis when he wrote this wonderful hymn.

Praise To The Lord, The Almighty by Joachim Neander, 1680

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
The King of creation
O my soul, praise Him
For He is thy health and salvation!
All ye who hear, now to His temple draw near
Praise Him in glad adoration.

Praise to the Lord
Who o'er all things so wondrously reigneth
Shelters thee under His wings
Yea, so gently sustaineth!
Hast thou not seen how thy desires e'er have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?

Praise to the Lord
Who hath fearfully, wondrously, made thee
Health hath vouchsafed and when heedlessly falling, hath stayed thee
What need or grief ever hath failed of relief?
Wings of His mercy did shade thee

Praise to the Lord
Who doth prosper thy work and defend thee
Surely His goodness and mercy here daily attend thee
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do
If with His love He befriend thee

Praise to the Lord
Who, when tempests their warfare are waging
Who, when the elements madly around thee are raging
Biddeth them cease, turneth their fury to peace
Whirlwinds and waters assuaging

Praise to the Lord
Who, when darkness of sin is abounding,
Who, when the godless do triumph, all virtue confounding
Sheddeth His light, chaseth the horrors of night
Saints with His mercy surrounding

Praise to the Lord
O let all that is in me adore Him!
All that hath life and breath, come now with praises before Him
Let the Amen sound from His people again
Gladly for aye we adore Him

great with christy nockels on vocals, even greater with a full choir, orchestra and organ. powerful.