Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

it's been a long time since i've wondered whether it was a good idea to pick up leadership for Him. been an even longer time since i've wondered if all the sacrifices i make is worth it. not just for Him, but for all the ones i love as well. it's almost like i have no life of my own.

it's hard being sincere and smart at the same time, because the two just don't go together. it's hard following the rules without getting into trouble, because you always tend to want to break them, especially when they're ridiculous. it's hard trusting me, because it's not worth it. it's hard not to cry, because sincerity and stupidity go together (see earlier point). it's hard to be in the family already, because of just one person.

i keep it all to my own. my worries. my sadness. and i wish things were less complex. things like obedience, faith, and You.

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me