oh man, this is absolutely gay, ABSOLUTELY GAY! and no, i don't mean gay as in happy, i meant gay as in a huge exclamation, usually subsituted with an expletive which i can't think of at the moment, but it'll come eventually. it's like how markky was explaining, gay is used sort of to fill up the empty spaces haha.

but anyway, GAY! omgwthBBQ okay, so much for all the rumours flying around, it's now official. and just when i was starting to get my life ahead, rather than just stoning around, and i'm happy. grrr it's like how the jwss tutors were all saying how last saturday was the last happy saturday for all of us. worst thing is if you know you're not going to do well or up to model expectations. things have changed so much for me since o levels, where i luckily scrapped through with a pretty cert. now everything seems to be falling out of place, puts a real fear in me.

i'm going to be extremely nervous, knots in the stomach, can't sleep properly kind of thing for the next four days. frankly, i don't know whether i want it to come or not. i want to just get it over and done with it, but when it comes, new worries start building. this is not going to be very good for term two with the k2 kids. not good at all. sure, i'll accept all there is, but still... i don't even know if i want to take half day or just complete the day and get there late. probably the earier, i'll be too nervous to do anything but stone anyway.

anyway, today was real fun, playing with the kids and eating with the other teachers. a lot of people are still amazed that i'm just eighteen (and waiting for my impending doom of the a level results) and i dare to be a teacher of a class of cheeky and mischevious 5-going-on-6-year-olds. but they're really cute and super nice (:

okay, i'm not in any mood to do anything but do what i do best. stone and watch tv and rot my brains out with the oscars and worry.

gay.