i got home from alumni, and i took an icy-cold-hot bath.

it is so frustrating. the nice room i decorated and painted, i don't feel like going in there, much less sleeping in there, ever again. my thoughts about the possible enbloc have drastically changed. trite, you say, but imagine. no matter what i do, they're always back.

frustrating that you don't really bother much, even though it's your house, as you consistently proclaim. i'm so tired of doing / worrying about things that are not my own, and end up ignoring my own life. i have the gift to give, but it hasn't been so rewarding so far.

i don't think i'll ever have peace if i stay in this house, figuratively and literally.

forget it, i don't want to talk anymore. i realise i always have cause to be really upset at the start of the weekend. weekdays are suddenly somewhat more appealing. when i'm away. and i keep everything inside, because i can't find someone i trust totally with my irregularities.

moody, very moody. and frustrated. and tired. i think the weather's driving everyone insane.